He has millions of toys.... at least one for each child.
What did the snowman say to the Christmas candle?
blurb blob bup blurp blop
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Cindy Lou
Cindy Lou Who!
What do you call a snowman made out of yellow snow?
Better than a snowman made out of brown snow!!
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Reindeer
Reindeer Who?
Don't you mean Reindeer hoof?
Did you hear about the elf who couldn't go near any nurses, doctors, or Christmas trees?
He was afraid of needles!
When the snowman broke his nose the doctor removed his nose and put it in boiling water. It was a new type of treatment for fixing a broken nose called "care hot".
Santa had Thanksgiving dinner with his family and a ferocious tiger caught an antelope on the savanna. What do they have in common? They both ate their dinner with clause.
Santa, a Christmas Tree, and an icicle walk into a bar. Santa orders a Hot Chocolate Martini. The Christmas Tree orders a hard cider. The icicle orders a vodka on the rocks but the bartender says "we don't serve icicles here". I guess that's what happens when you go to a bar that's not cool.
therefore....
Santa keeps drinking until he gets too drunk to walk.
Meanwhile, the Christmas tree keeps drinking until the bartender cuts off. At that point, he falls off his stand and onto the floor!
What happens if Santa falls in love with an elephant and they have children?
You get Elve-aphants.
How many snowflakes does it take to return my phone call?
They never return my phone call because they are all flakey.
What do you call a Christmas cookie that needs an attitude adjustment?
A Snickerdoodle.
Why did Rudolph only pull Santa on that one evening?
The end of the story is never told. Rudolph gets sleighed.
What day of Christmas do you get when you mix an elf with a Christmas tree?
The tw-elve day of Christmas.
What is Santa's favorite unhealthy snak?
Ho-ho's.
What is the most popular Olympic even on the North Pole?
Dashing thru the snow.
What did Mrs. Clause say when she rejected Santa's advances during the hurricane?
"Not in the rain dear".
What weapon did Santa use against the submarine?
A missile toe.